If you only read one sentence from this article, let it be this: You’re not the only person who hates your body. According to The Butterfly Foundation, one in three Australians is unhappy with the way they look.

While it might bring you some comfort to know you’re not the only person who feels anxious by simply walking down the street, chances are there’s still a voice in the back of your head whispering, “If you lose weight and shrink your body, you’ll hate it less.”

Sound familiar? 

In this article, I’m not only going to break down why it’s completely normal if you hate the way you look (in our appearance-obsessed society) and why you think losing weight is the key to body acceptance but what you can do (without changing your appearance) to hate your body less. 

Why do I hate my body? 

There are so many reasons why you hate your body, right? But as a food and body image counsellor who’s worked with thousands of people over the past 10 years, here are the top four reasons that I believe contribute to body hate. 

Societal conditioning 

Usually, the number one reason we hate how we look is a result of our upbringing. And I’m not just talking about the way your parent spoke to you about bodies, but from all the ways we’re made to think about our bodies from such a young age. 

We’re conditioned to think about bodies in certain ways based on pop culture and societal expectations. 

Think about all the Disney movies you watched growing up. Were the princesses and princes in small or fat bodies? 

Small. 

And what about the villains? Were they in small or fat bodies? Most were in bigger bodies, i.e. Ursuala, The Queen of Hearts, Hades. 

As a ten-year-old watching a thin princess win over the handsome prince and live happily ever after, we learn it’s good to be thin (and pretty – but let’s talk about that in another article) 

Social media 

In this digital age, we’re constantly comparing our bodies. When I was growing up in the 90s, seeing the images in monthly issues of Dolly magazine or Cosmopolitan was hard enough, but now we’re exposed to these airbrushed and curated images daily. 

Research shows that social media has a significant role in shaping body image in teens and young people. When they reduced their social media use by 50% for just a few weeks, they saw a significant improvement in how they felt about both their weight and their overall appearance compared with peers who maintained consistent levels of social media use. 

Eating Disorders

According to the National Eating Disorder Collaboration (NEDC), Eating disorder rates have increased by 21% in Australia over the past 10 years and are a significant contributing factor to our hatred towards our bodies. Eating disorders tell us lies and convince us that our bodies are NOT good enough. 

Body dysmorphia 

If you’re wondering what it’s called when you don’t like your body, you might be looking for the word “body dysmorphia”. It’s a mental illness that causes individuals distress and anxiety and significantly impacts their lives, making socialising incredibly hard and stressful. 

What to do when you hate your body?

Breathe. Know you’re not alone. And know it’s actually really normal in our society to hate your body. 

Remember this feeling will pass 

While you’re in the midst of a full-on thought, spiral, with your chest tightening, shortness of breath, and overwhelming feeling of helplessness, know this feeling will pass (think standing in a fitting room, with a room full of clothes that either don’t fit or make you notice every flaw). Breathe. 

Find compassion for yourself 

We can feel stuck in a loop of frustration when we don’t like the way we look. It starts with a thought, “You look terrible”, followed by another idea, “You have no willpower” or “You’re so lazy”, – triggering a downhill battle with self-blame, critical thoughts and frustration. Next time you notice these critical thoughts creeping up, you can pause and find self-compassion. Remember, it’s not your fault you feel this way about your body; you’ve been raised in a world that conditions us from a very young to criticise the way we look. Here are 18 body image quotes to remind you your body is not a problem to be fixed.

Mindful of social media use 

I remember reading a quote that said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Boy-oh-boy, this resonates with me when I think about social media. As soon as we open the apps, we’re exposed to altered images of flawless. 

Wear comfortable clothes 

So many things can trigger a bad body image day, but one of the quickest is wearing tight or poorly fitting clothes. If you want to improve your body image and hate your body less, work with it, not against it. If you can afford it, buy comfortable clothes (and underwear) that make you feel good. 

How to stop hating your body?

I wish I had a magic wand to help you stop hating your body, but in reality, it takes work to change your mindset and challenge your beliefs. It’s almost impossible to stop hating your body completely, but it’s possible to hate it less over time. 

Challenge your body beliefs 

What were you told about bodies (specifically your body) growing up? Why is your worth so closely attached to your appearance? Why do you believe your body is a problem? Start by answering these questions and bringing awareness to your answers. Once you’re clearing on your beliefs, can you start to challenge them by asking yourself, “Is this belief still serving me, or is it keeping me stuck in a body-hate or binge-restrict cycle?” 

Educate yourself 

You weren’t born hating your body, so how did you end up here? If you want to learn why you’ve been taught to link your worth with your appearance, or why it’s normal to constantly pursue weight loss, here are two fantastic podcast episodes I recommend listening to if you want to learn more about fatphobia and anti-fatness. 

Get professional support 

Once you start delving into this space, you’ll probably feel uncomfortable quickly (and that’s normal). You might be able to navigate these feelings yourself, but for most of you, having professional support to heal your relationship with food and your body is a very smart idea. 

Change your environment 

For some of you, there will be limitations to how much you can change your environment. Work, family, and friends are usually the most challenging environments to alter (and usually the most triggering), but can you consciously choose who you follow on social media, what TV shows you watch, and the doctor you visit? 

Can you start curating an environment with diverse body types? Working with a doctor who focuses on health (not your weight) and skipping TV shows like Married at First Sight, where every second ad is a weight loss commercial, can make a drastic change to how you feel about your body. 

Final thoughts (TLDR) 

If you hate your body, know you’re not alone. But you can learn to hate it less with time, practice, and patience. If you want to learn how to move from body hate to acceptance, the most important thing to remember is that it’s not your fault you hate your body. Develop self-compassion, start challenging the cooked beliefs we’re conditioned to believe in our weight-obsessed society and remember that it’s a practice.

Need help to accept your body? 

You’re in the right place! At Balance and Bite, we work with humans (particularly women) to help them accept their bodies, improve their health, and feel in control of their food. Does this sound like the kind of non-judgmental support you’ve been looking for? 

Book an appointment